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THE ROOM
17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to
write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like.
"I wowed 'em," he later told his
father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever
wrote."
It also was the last.
Brian's parents had forgotten
about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's
locker at Teary Valley High School. Brian had been dead only hours, but
his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them-notes
from classmates and teachers, his homework. Only two months before, he
had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full
of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life. But it was only
after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son
had described his view of heaven. "It makes such an impact that people
want to share it. You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said.
Brian Moore died May 27, 1997,
the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house
when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a
utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed
power line and was electrocuted. The Moores framed a copy of Brian's
essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I
think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and
make something out of it, " Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her
husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy
for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.
Brian's Essay: The Room...In
that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room.
There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered
with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that
list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly
endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near
the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read
"Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards.
I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names
written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I
was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system
for my life.
Here were written the actions of
my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A
sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as
I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought
joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense
that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file
named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I
Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have
Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've
yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done
in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I
never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more
cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed
by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I
had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even
millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written
in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file
marked "TV Shows I have watched,” I realized the files grew to contain
their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or
three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but
more by the vast time I knew that file represented. When I came to a
file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I
pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew
out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think
that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.
One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one
must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I
yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and
burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the
floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled
out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning
my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.
And then I saw it... The title
bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter
than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a
small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could
count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I
began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach
and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of
shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves
swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this
room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the
tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I
watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I
couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring
myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed
to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally, He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at
me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I
dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again.
He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many
things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back
to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a
file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as
I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But
there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of
Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the
card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't
think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next
instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my
side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was
no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through
Christ who strengthens me."-Phil. 4:13 "For God so loved the world that
He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but
have eternal life." If you feel the same way, copy this page link and
send it to as many people as you can so the love of Jesus will touch
their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got
bigger, how about yours?
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