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ROUNDTABLE
GUIDELINES The Roundtable Fellowship
A fellowship to
assist Christian men in addressing critical issues of life, marriage,
and family
As iron sharpens
iron, so one man sharpens another. Prov. 27:17
Each Saturday, between 30 to 50 men
gather around a roundtable at Christ Memorial Church to address issues
confronting Christian men. Other Roundtable fellowships have been
started in Port Orchard and East Bremerton, WA (Sylvan Way Baptist); Yuma, AZ (approximately 30-50 men meet each Saturday morning
there); Idaho, and Australia.
The following are format and suggestions
for starting a Roundtable Fellowship like the one at CMC.
Meeting format:
(1 ˝ hours)
·
Opening prayer
·
Jump-start scripture and
questions, like ‘What does this say to us as men today?’ The Holy
Spirit will lead the discussion in some surprising directions.
·
Issues facing men who have
come to the meeting
·
Closing prayer
Suggestions:
1)
Fellowship facilitator:
The facilitator needs to be a leader and have a compassion for other
men. The facilitator will select a man at the meeting to open in
prayer. (We like to stand for the opening and closing prayers at CMC.)
In advance of the meeting, the
facilitator will contact someone to bring the jump-start scripture and
question(s) for the next meeting. A reminder call is necessary the day
before the meeting. This first contact is often done after the close of
the previous meeting. The facilitator does not ask for any specific
topic or scripture – the individual being asked brings what he senses
the Holy Spirit leading him to. The facilitator is not aware of the
scripture until the man shares it in the meeting.
After the opening prayer, the
facilitator will call for the jump-start scripture and question. The
men like to bring the jump-start scriptures. This gives all a chance to
start the meeting and raise the challenge question that is meant to
engage the men in open discussion considering, “ How does this apply to
us today?”
At approximately the halfway point, the
facilitator asks for issues of the heart to be brought up that
individuals may have come with that need to be addressed. There are
always issues. Men are asked to pray for those with needs – immediately.
As the meeting winds down, any loose
ends are addressed by the facilitator. Then he will call for a man to
close the meeting in prayer.
Occasionally the facilitator will begin
the meeting with a scripture, aimed to prompt men to share. When this
format is used, we usually simply proceed around the table to anyone who
has a need or an issue. By beginning the meeting like this helps ensure
that all men have had a chance to share and be prayed for.
2)
Leadership team:
The facilitator should select a core group of men to gather around him
to share in this ministry. This group could be from three to six men.
They can assist in duties such as:
Opening the church, starting
coffee, setting up tables and chairs, the sign-
up of men to bring donuts or
fruit and making a reminder call the day before the
meeting, picking up the offering
basket and dispersing it, meeting with the
facilitator 20 minutes before
the meeting to pray for the meeting and the
guidance of the Holy Spirit.
3)
Start on time, and end
the meeting on time—so those
that need to can leave. Then be sure to stick around to hear and
minister to those who still need to talk and share. (We found Saturday
7:30 to 9:00 A.M. to be our best time at CMC)
4)
Coffee and donuts
aren’t essential, but they are nice,
along with some fresh fruit. Have guys sign up and spread out the
responsibility. An offering basket is set out with the food to offset
the expenses – those that brought donuts or fruit can reimburse
themselves.
5)
Keep the configuration
of the tables round. The
shape of the overall seating arrangement is important. The
arrangement tells men that we are all peers – there is not a leader,
there is no front or back. There is one body; all are important
members; no one is more important than another. The facilitator’s job
is not to lead, per se, nor to dominate, just to give some gentle
direction to keep the men engaged. Jesus is the Head of the table. The
Spirit is free to touch any man and move him to share or respond.
Ministry from the table members can come from anyone.
6)
Confidentiality in the
room is very important.
Whatever is shared at the table stays within the room, unless a man says
that it can be taken and shared outside to others. This is critical for
building trust and relationship among the men. (To our knowledge, this
has never been violated since the beginning of the Roundtable at CMC.)
The men are free to share outside the Roundtable the subjects
that were discussed; loving our wives, pornography, anger, forgiveness,
our authority in the home, child discipline, etc.----but no details,
no names, not who was prayed with and never what someone said.
7)
The jump-start
scripture should be brief,
generally under six verses, and often only one. Some guys like to turn
it into a devotion or mini-sermon, but this does not work nearly so
well. The facilitator shouldn’t necessarily try to stop it, but tell
the guys who are going to share, “This is not a sermon, not a devotion,
but a scripture that can challenge and stir the hearts of men.” The one
bringing the scripture should add a few comments, then raise the
challenge or the question. If the one with the scripture does not raise
a challenge question, the facilitator must trust the Lord to give him
that challenge for the group.
8)
The facilitator always needs to try to involve more men than
just those who like to talk and every group has some of those. This
can be frustrating for the facilitator. He must be sensitive, not
domineering, make some mistakes, but grow by them. Let the table know
we are all in this together for the purpose of maturing in the Lord.
9)
Be open to hurting men
and ready to pray immediately!
The meeting is not a prayer meeting per se –but prayer better be
happening a lot. It is very important that the meeting never get turned
into a social gathering, a time to review current events, or even a
Bible study. Men come for all kinds of reasons, but some come because
they are hurting—big time! (We have seen this over and over again at
CMC). Men need a place to share their concerns and fears, even confess
their sins. The facilitator may see that one of the quiet guys seems to
want to say something. He’ll ask him how it is going and if he has
anything to share. An avalanche of need and some beautiful ministry
often follows. Prayer is the key. Believe God for miracles, healings,
deliverance and goodness.
10)
Open the Roundtable to
other men in the community and their pastors.
11)
If pastors come,
don’t work them! Let
them be spectators, at least at the first. Some pastors don’t want to
come until the men have developed a trustful relationship with each
other.
11)
When a need surfaces
and the men begin to pray for someone, the facilitator should try to
stimulate “popcorn” prayers, rather than have one or two prayer warriors
give ten minute prayers.
“Popcorn” prayers are one sentence (or very short) prayers from
different men. It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit will work through
twelve men to cover all that the prayer warriors would have covered. It
may take a little more time, but the results are terrific. Men begin to
think they also can become a prayer warrior.
12)
Hold a breakfast
approximately quarterly or twice yearly
and invite a pastor from another church to speak. Ask him to share on
the topic "What is God saying to men in this hour?" (not that God
changes His message, but what are vital issues confronting men today and
how does God want us to respond) Bless the pastor with a monetary gift.
13)
Fasten your seat belt
and get ready for the Lord to use this ministry in the lives of men.
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